Wouldn't it be nice?

If I weren't always so pissed off?

Today has been hard.  I don't even know why - probably unseen stress in my life.  Maybe it's the fact that I have two fucking days to take a final exam, which is comprehensive by the way, and absolutely no time to study for it?  Yeah, that could be it.  I was going crazy this morning with my kids, so I took them to the beach.  I figured the half hour drive there and back might give me a whole one hour of fucking rest all day, so I packed up a little lunch and hit the road.  I was irritated at the beach but at least there was sand and sun, so I managed.  The rest of the afternoon was uneventful.  I put both of the kids to bed, and Elly has been up a bunch of times at least screaming her head off since I put her down.  The first eight times she cried, I was the only one here to calm her down because Craig was out getting the groceries we needed so badly.  Now he's home, and he's been up there two or three times, one of which ended in him bringing her downstairs so that I could feed her.  After I fed her, I took her up to lay down again, and she was sleeping when I left the room until my foot hit the top stair, when she started screaming again.  I gave up and Craig went upstairs to console her, so I walked down to the groceries to help put them away and check out what he bought.  Right now I'm so mad right I could cry, or rip out my own hair, or at least kick a dog.  So instead, I'm sitting downstairs blogging.

Here's why I am mad, and you may laugh, and maybe some day I will too, but for this exact moment, I'm steaming.  I don't try to freak out too much about Connor's food; I've really tried to be relaxed (ha!) about what we do, within reason.  I want him to have vegetables and fruit at least once a day.  I like him to have a "healthy" snack once in a while, rather than just cookies and shit all the time.  I'll buy McDonald's on occasion, because kids seem to like that crap.

I suggested to Craig the other day, and it must have been completely asinine conversation in his mind because he obviously ignored me, that I wanted to get a little plastic container with dividers in it, so I could cut up pieces of meat and cheese and make a "homemade Lunchables" for Connor's lunches.  He's going to camp this week, and I thought it would be cool for him, and it might actually get him to eat food without someone bugging him to take every bite.  And seriously, my suggestion was boring conversation really, but it wasn't like I was suggesting something crazy like "I'd like to make homemade sushi for Connor to take to school" or anything - just a simple idea.  Boring.  Silly.

Craig went to the grocery store tonight and bought 5 little Lunchables kits for Connor's lunches.  With pasteurized processed cheese food and everything.  Yay for Connor!  Here's some garbage for you to eat.

Fucking fuck fuck.  That was just for good measure.