BLECH. I'm not liking this new form. Today we went out for Japanese food, and the waitress immediately said "You're having a girl!" Wow! She's right! I was impressed, so I asked how she knew... and her answer was that I'm carrying wide. I guess that could be true, I'm not really sure, but it doesn't feel pretty. Then we went to Dairy Queen afterward (Craig insisted - it wasn't my idea!) and there was a tiny skinny black woman there with a cute little bubble belly and I was so jealous. That's all I have to say about that.
Hey, is it allowed to say she was black? Do I have to say she was African American? What if her ancestors weren't from Africa?
I gave Scott my proposal for working part-time today, and strangely he never even addressed it. He acted as if he never received it, so I'm almost tempted to send it again. I set a date within the proposal of beginning this adjusted schedule on August 15th, so he doesn't really have a whole lot of time. If he doesn't say anything tomorrow, I'll definitely bring it up again so that we can schedule a discussion for Friday. I hope he mentions it tomorrow. I spent some serious time on that thing.
I'm feeling worn out today, and my brain's not working quite right. At dinner I had a long discussion with Rachel about the office and the inner workings of it, and I don't feel like I helped her at all; when we left I was sure that I had made things worse for her. I'm hoping that it's just my insecurities getting in the way of rational thought, because I usually can be a good listener and a motivational speaker (hey, another new career choice!) - but the rhythm just wasn't with me today. If she just up and quits, I will make sure to let it be known the reason why, because this kind of thing can't keep happening. If she sticks it out, hopefully she will be able to create positive change at least for her own well-being. It's really defeating to see all of these good people get worn down by that place. I'm always confused as to how I've lasted so long, but I think I've developed some kind of survival mechanism that keeps me alert and aware of the pain and suffering, but able to persevere.
Maybe I should find out how I do that, and try to teach it somehow.
Now, I will turn on the TV and mush out.
2 comments:
Lookin' good. Okay...maybe the "wide" thing is just a term for horizontal rather than out or vertical or something. Maybe I don't have to kick that lady's butt. But you don't look like you've gained much weight anywhere else this time. Or have swollen up too bad. Have you? And there's only four months to go! PS. My bon voyage party is going to be either on the weekend of the 16th or the 23rd. Any date work better for you?
I hadn't read your blog for a while for some reason, so when I looked at it, I was amazed at how incredibly fecund you've been! I'm sitting here at work, unable to work. The story of my life. I'm waiting for one of the weiners to do something for me that only he can do. Asshat! So I might as well blab at you for a moment.
You definitely didn't make things worse for me. You've actually made working here a teeny bit better on a day-to-day basis. Well, actually a lot better. I'm still in the mode of trying to stick it out. So far, I feel like it's getting a bit better. I get a bit less sad and hopeless and anxious and a bit more annoyed, angry, and surly every day. Soon, I will be just like you and the other disgruntled employees who work or have worked here. It's all about growing a tough, impentrable, knobbly hide to protect my soft, squishy interior.
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