I've been wondering about this lately. I've been wondering about it especially because I've been so stressed out that I find myself muttering things under my breath that I dare not let slip out in full force. Then, when I'm talking to myself to console myself on how it's ok that I'm having these feelings, the "other" me tells the stressed out one that I'm just being honest with myself, as if that is an acceptable excuse.
Is honesty that useful if it hurts the people closest to me? Is it beneficial to be standoffish to my husband just because I'm bored or stressed or his beard is bothering me, or should I ditch the honesty and fabricate a carefree "me", willing to drop all television programs and late-night studying for some good one-on-one time with my husband of almost ten years? Maybe if I was able to lie to myself more often, I could get more frequent "relief" of stress. In bed, that is.
Maybe I should stop being honest with myself. Maybe all of this internal honesty is just the easiest coping mechanism, much easier than actually trying to relax or trying to prioritize or trying to be more efficient. Instead of making excuses for myself, I probably should try to change some of these behaviors and habits I have developed.
I should work on school related items, for instance, when I finally have a few hours alone because Craig took the kids to the museum. I should complete some assignments, and maybe even study, rather than post on my blog.
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