Random again

I hate having to think of a title for a blog entry.

Last night I had really bad dreams. They actually started out good, exciting, dirty... and then monsters and demons and evil stuff crept in, and I spent the rest of the night trying to get back to the original dream. I never succeeded. I hate it when I wake up from a bad dream, because it really sets the mood for the day. Today I'm afraid, and for no good reason, of zombies and bogeymen coming out of the shadows to get me.

...

So for the first hour of work, I did random stuff, mostly not related to programming or finishing any of the many things I have on my plate. I checked out if anyone gives a crap about me (i.e. looked at the different registries we have to see if any new things were marked off - none were), fiddled around on Facebook, looked at my invites for the party this weekend, and then I noticed that Jason had responded to the invite. He wrote:

Bud Light and a "sprinkler set up" ... holy crap is that ever a tempting offer. Unfortunately, I shall have to decline because parties are so stupid.

What a jackass. I understand that Jason Jones has some issues, I don't understand what they are exactly, but mostly I think his brain is messed up and he likes to take that out on others. I still don't think he needs to shit on everyone's parade all of the time; he probably would be more beneficial to people if he wrote more random notes about interesting topics on Facebook or wherever he decides to write them, and kept his mouth shut about things that make other people happy. His comment combined with the feeling I've had this morning from my nightmares made me even more surly. I guess he succeeded.

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I walked into the bathroom earlier and a very prissy looking woman was leaving one of the stalls, having just flushed the toilet. I got so irritated though, because she was the only person in the bathroom, and she chose to pee in the stupid handicapped toilet. Maybe the people in this building are so fucking retarded and oblivious that they don't notice that the toilet in that stall flushes for a full minute, but FUCK! People! It FLUSHES FOR A MINUTE! For fucking pee! And I wanted to tell her that she's an idiot, and that next time she fucking pees, or the next 15 times she pees, she shouldn't flush the toilet because she's wasted SO MUCH WATER in that one flush that she'll never make up for it, but instead I just gave her a forced smile (hopefully making it look exceptionally painful) and walked into one of the other 4 normal fucking stalls in the bathroom. God. People are idiots.

The last rant seems related to the anger I'm feeling to day, but in fact it's not; I've had this feeling about people using the handicapped stall for a long time. I mostly hold that shit in and don't let people know how annoying they are, but this one had to escape today.

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Ok, so I'm sorry for writing a bunch of angry ranting random crap. I also wanted to write something about Connor, and this time it's not angry.

Yesterday, as Connor and I were driving through the Lincoln Consolidated Schools property (we cut through on the way to school), Connor noticed that a single construction worker was out in the football field, digging with a shovel. They've been doing some prep work for a while now, and he must have been the first one on the scene for the day. I didn't notice the man, because I was looking at a large group of men closer to the school around a big machine, presumably getting ready to take it out to the field and dig, too. Connor and I were being pretty quiet for the drive because we were both a little tired, and the cool breeze coming in through the open sunroof felt good and urged a silence.

Connor broke that silence with this, "Mommy, that guy out there is digging all alone.  Nobody's out there bothering him.  That looks peaceful." [He pronounces it peace-a-ful.]

I just smiled.  He's only three, almost four, but wise beyond his years, and definitely beyond my wildest imagination of the wisdom a child could possess.