Laziness and complaining

I've posted quite a bit this week, and I don't really know how I'm finding time to do it.  Perhaps it's in waiting for huge databases to restore that I find a quiet moment or two to reflect on how much I hate it here.  Yes, yes, that's it.

I talked to Craig a while ago about discussing moving Connor into the bigger kids room at preschool instead of being stuck in the little kids room.  I also briefly mentioned a few days ago that maybe I would consider talking to Scott about working a day or two a week after I deliver this baby, part time, just from home.  I don't see a whole lot of action on Craig's part as far as getting financially stable before this baby is born, so of course, my options are to sit by and wait until the roof caves in, or go and fix things myself, metaphorically speaking of course.  So I suggested this new option, which probably I should have kept to myself so as not to give him any glimmer of hope of getting off easy on this one.  Anyway.  My mistake.  So I'm talking to him about Connor being at preschool in the bigger kids room, and he said something like "Well, especially if you're going back to work after this baby's born, we're going to need some childcare."  GOD DAMN IT.  I'm NOT GOING BACK TO WORK AFTER THIS BABY'S BORN!  Maybe, possibly, I'll work PART TIME, after about 4 months off, and that's only a MAYBE right now.  I mean, I don't want to!  I don't want to AT ALL!  And I don't want Craig to think I'm going to, because whenever he is given ANY slack, he takes it all and doesn't work hard enough to do things good for our family (like MAKING MORE FREAKIN MONEY TO PAY THE HUGE STUPID BILLS.)  I flew off the handle at that comment, probably a bit more than necessary but I'll attribute it to the pregnancy hormones and the fact that I have a really yucky stomach ache that won't go away.  I hate men.

SO THEN.  I'm looking at the stupid status messages on this Pandion thing at work, and people generally have really stupid ones, like "Oorayhay orfay ednesdayway" and other random shit.  But one person has "Thinks using the EEADDR studr was an error.  Address user record would have worked."  And although that doesn't mean anything to anyone but people in this god forsaken office, that's enough to really make me mad.  And I'll explain.

Everything I do here involves generalized crap that everyone can just steal and use at will.  They think it will work because I wrote it, and for the most part, it does.  HOWEVER, I am human.  And I do make mistakes, silly mistakes, stupid mistakes that I can't blame anyone for except my own stupid self.  AND I DO, I take the blame for errors, I fix them, I republish the scripts people are stealing and everyone, for the most part, is happy.  THEY SHOULD BE HAPPY, because if they had any fucking clue what goes into the scripts I'm writing for them, they'd know that I saved them hours and hours and hours of work.  Work that, if given the chance, I would gladly throw right back in their smug faces and smash all around so they can't BREATHE because of the work that I'm doing for them.  But no, I do my job, and I do it as well as I can (though lately I've been spending more time blogging and studying than working, I'll admit).

So this little stupid comment about something foreign to everyone but us is extremely frustrating, because what it means is this: some turd in this office has had his plans for some asinine testing paused temporarily because something doesn't work in the code I wrote.  This thing that doesn't work in the code I wrote is complicated, and it doesn't work not because I didn't write it correctly, but because in the basic software itself, the developers decided not to allow a certain function.  This function is necessary for what I'm trying to do.  So now, I have to figure out 1) how to do what they want me to do, and 2) how to ask the developers how to do it, without pissing them off for asking for something that would "never happen".  So, this thing that will "never happen" is apparently happening en masse for the client that this dummy with the status message is working on.  And he wants someone else to fix his problem.  Poor baby.

I know that's probably all Chinese.  The gist of this all is this: people here suck.  They don't even realize their laziness, or that their complaints are so minuscule and obnoxious it's almost more effort to make my ears listen to their complaints than it is to fix them and get on with my life.  And THIS is another reason why Craig's comment about me coming back to work made me furious today.  I DON'T FUCKING WANT TO, NOT TODAY, NOT TOMORROW, NOT EVER.  I do, because it's necessary.  Someone else in this marriage HAS to take the responsibility for doing unwanted things once in a while.